I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You're like the curious george of whores
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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