Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
