Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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