Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
bring money and cleavage
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
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