bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
