Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
