so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
