We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
