Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
