Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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