He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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