pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize