wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
4 words: hood of his car
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
