How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
