You can't motorboat a personality
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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