you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
