You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
