after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
