Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
