explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
