dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
