if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
