sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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