Will you blow on my dice?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Acid is not a monday night drug
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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