I'm going to jail i love you
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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