Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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