She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
