the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
