I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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