I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
