are you still at the devil's house?
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
