I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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