the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
