I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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