absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
