You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
