wakey wakey hands off snakey
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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