Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
