Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
