We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
