I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
