Whod you bang
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
