how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
