Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
