he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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