Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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