If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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