trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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