you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
