dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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