i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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