She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
