Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
