Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize