There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
