New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
