At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
