is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
false alarm, still single
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
