It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
