I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
